When you hurt the one you love
by miyo.san
Summary: America stops by at England's to see Arthur isn't home. He finds Arthur's diary and reads some entries which shock him. Really hinted USUK. Angst?


**Do not ask why I did this.**

**Too much angsty USUK fanfics.**

**Warning: **Angst, England's, how should I say it.. Potty mouth?

**Summary:** America stops by at England's to see Arthur isn't home. He finds Arthur's diary and reads some facts which shock him. Really hinted USUK. Beware of angst.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hetalia, England, America or anything except the actual fanfiction and mentions of my OC, Georgia.

**Author's Notes:** Sorry, I'm not British and even if I lived in England for a big part of my life, my English is more than a failure. If there are any errors, please review. It'll help me not do the same mistake again in my later fanfiction.

**And excuse me for any damn OOC-ness.**

September 25th was a really sunny day, quite weird for the typical, rainy British weather.

It really did surprise America, who was wandering around London with an umbrella and dressed in a raincoat, looking like a idiot. He was going to visit Iggy (even though they didn't talk in a civilized way in ages – only shouts and curses, but that was a minor detail) today, maybe go drinking to the bar – oh, sorry, they called it a pub here – or go round and about London.

Not so soon he was already there, standing before Arthur's quite-a-big-mansion house, staring at it densely. Waking up from his daydreaming, he walked up the stairs leading to the wooden, British-quality (it was still alive after drinking with Francis, Antonio, Gilbert, Russia, Georgia (Note to self: Never go drinking with her again) and Poland!) door, which he knocked on. No response. He knocked again, and again, just to get no response.

"Iggyyyy!" America whined, "Don't ignore me and open the dooor!" the whining got louder. America got more and more angry. "Okay, you asked for it!" he shouted, going back a few steps, then running into the door at full speed, which opened with a bang, hit the wall making quite a nice hole in it. America tripled over the couple pairs of shoes which Arthur owned, falling on his face. But of course, Alfred, in hero-style, got up and brushed the non-existing dust from his favourite bomber jacket and seeing Arthur's absence (A/N: That's a pure failure of English...), out of pure curiosity went up to his room.

"Now, revenge time!" Alfred stated, rubbing his hands. Even though there was nothing to have revenge on, he just wanted to see, what dirty/weird/perverted things England had in his bedroom.

It wasn't long before he found a black, quite thick notebook with a emerald green "DIARY" written on the cover.

"Iggy has a diary? Okay, let's look!" America smiled opening the book.

_Date: October 5th 1000_

_Dear diary,_

_I found a little guy today, here in the New Land. He's probably another country, like us. He calls himself America. The little guy wanted to call me "Big Brother". It feels quite weird after all the threatens from Spain, Henry the VIII and Scotland. I have to go take care of him now, so I will write more tomorrow._

"The hell?" Alfred furrowed his eyebrows. 'Little guy'? He wasn't little, just young and smaller than everyone else!

A couple of entries later, Alfred found a entry from the Revolutionary War.The paper was covered in little droplets of blood. Wait, blood?!

_Date: July 4th 1776_

_Dear diary,_

_America left me. I don't know what the hell what to do. The noisy prat is gone. Hah, he even said "You used to be so great". Just let him be. He will probably take care of himself better than I did._

_Goddamn you Poland, and I had an ally in you._

Alfred's grin disappeared immediately.

_Date: July 4th 1876_

_Dear diary,_

_Guess what. It's been a century since we talked in a civilized way and the prat was under my doorstep saying sorry for everything bad he had done. Hell no, I will not forgive him now or never. Let him see what's it like to be hurt like that._

_Date: March 15th 1996_

_Dear diary,_

_Forget everything I said bad about Alfred. Love does really weird things to people. I just wonder when I will get the courage to tell him that..._

Oh, wait, stop there. Alfred blushed bright red like on of Antonio's tomatoes. In love? Of course, Alfred did love Arthur, but more in the brotherly way...

_Date: June 26th 2007_

_Dear diary,_

_I finally summoned my courage to confess to Alfred. At first he stared at me with a confused look, then smiled and petted my head, stating that "You're funny, Iggy!" and walked away._

_Really, America, thanks for rejecting me._

_And no, you didn't break me heart. No, of course you didn't._

_You fucking shattered it._

Alfred stared at the entry for a couple of seconds, then closed the notebook. He remembered when Arthur told him that he loved him, but he thought that it was brotherly love. He didn't know Arthur was serious about it and that be broke – no, not broke, shattered – his heart. From these entries he knew more than enough.

He was hurting his beloved Arthur more than anyone and he didn't even know about it.

**DONE IT. I DONE IT.**

**Of course, it's all probably so illogical it hurts. Sorry guys.**

**Beware of the angst. Nyahahaha.**

**R & R if you can. Flame if you want. Please correct mistakes. That's all I'm asking for.**


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